While the plastic pods seem like harbingers of the death of the earth, the coffee is so good youll never need go out for java again
Nespresso Vertuo (199, nespresso.com). Centrifugal extractor with reservoir annexe and pressurised dispenser. Hot water forced through tubbed grounds creates coffee.
Cuppa java, minus the palaver? Were fresh out of that.
I hate my friends. Theyre always trying to get me to shower and leave the house, or re-engage with the human race. If I give in, they inevitably take me to some independent coffee shop they know, and speak to the staff in a foreign language. American Gibraltars, Chemex pour-over, soy-frothed dry cap; words that should by rights see them delivered of a soy-frothed dry slap. There must be a way to obtain decent coffee, the official drink of capitalism, with no social contact at all? Thats where pod coffee comes in.
Im staring at Nespressos Vertuo, which uses a centrifuge to extract flavours from coffee grounds. While theyre technically recyclable, individual coffee portions housed in plastic pods seems like a harbinger of the death of the earth. Plus, I have the unpleasant sensation the machine thinks its smarter than me. Yet Im drawn to it, the way we are to the confident. I gormlessly admire the rise and fall of its electric hood, auto-ejecting the previous capsule when opened. (The spent pellet pod cast? is lifted and dropped into a chamber at the back. What a thrill ride for the little fella.)