6 Online Trolls Who Are (Almost) Too Creepy For Words

October 8, 2017

Although it started out as an experiment in friendliness and connectivity, the internet has since become a battlefield where you can get bombarded with death threats, dick pics, and worse, all because you disagreed with some blog post. But there were supposed to be rules. No pets. No elderly. No kids. You know, like the mafia. Except in recent years, it seems that not even children are safe from being…

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5 Lessons That Suicide Squad Needs To Learn For Its Sequel

October 3, 2017

When Suicide Squad was released last year, critics treated it like they’d found a severed foot at the bottom of their popcorn buckets. And I won’t act like I was any different. I once choked on a Jimmy Dean sausage biscuit for what felt like half an hour, and that experience was more pleasurable than the first time I sat through Suicide Squad. Since then, though, I’ve rewatched the movie,…

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20 Life-Hacking Products You’ll Regret Not Buying Sooner

October 3, 2017

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there. With tech products, you usually get what you pay for. Spending $40 for a “brand-new” laptop will usually get you a piece of folded cardboard with “Twiteer” painted on it. But every once in a while, a truly great bargain comes around that outperforms its value by tenfold….

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6 Bizarrely Insulting Portrayals Of Other Countries In Games

October 3, 2017

We don’t play video games for realism. We play to escape into a world where the right hat will make you better at fighting, and hiding behind a crate will quickly heal eight bullet wounds. But if a game takes place in a real country, wouldn’t it be worth it for the developers to spend a few minutes skimming that country’s Wikipedia page? You know, to avoid making something incredibly…

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This Week In Pop Culture (9/22/17)

October 1, 2017

9/22/2017: The Family Matters House Is Being Destroyed By Daniel Dockery The house from Family Matters is being demolished. Not by the backfiring of one of Steve Urkel’s experiments, but by the city of Chicago. And I would feel very bad about this if I remembered what the house from Family Matters actually looked like. OK, now that we’ve all watched the opening credits and been reminded of the place…

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5 Criminals With The Worst Luck In The Entire World

September 28, 2017

Crimes can go wrong in a lot of ways, mostly due to the fact that criminals tend to be dumbasses. But in the high-stakes world of the under … world, even planning ahead doesn’t guarantee success. Some days, the universe gets high and randomly decides to turn reality into a 1980s action flick. And that’s when even the simplest heist can turn into a gloriously tacky B-movie scene. Feel Terrible?…

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5 Simple Questions That Make The Internet Destroy Itself

September 28, 2017

Nothing makes us angry like other people’s opinions about literally anything. That’s why we invented a little thing called “murder.” But now we do the bulk of our rage-venting through the magic of the internet. Which means fewer stabbed faces, sure, but also untold human energy wasted on millions upon millions of words of wholly inane bullshit. And nothing gets people going like … The few scraggly freaks who had…

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The 5 Stupidest People On The Planet (Are All Donald Trump)

September 25, 2017

How many times are you allowed to say or do something stupid before you recognize you yourself are stupid? Seven eras? 24? Butts? Rush Limbaugh has been bad about 270 events a epoch for 40 years, and he would be truly sickened to learn he’s stupid. We aren’t good at spotting our own intellectual restraints. We walk around imagining we’re bright , no matter how many times we get our…

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I Was There At Disneyland’s Opening (And It Was A Nightmare)

September 23, 2017

Get intimate with our brand-new podcast Cracked Do Personal. Subscribe for funny, fascinating incidents like Rape, Pee Funnels and The Dolphin: Female Soldiers Pronounce Up and Inside The Secret Epidemic Of Cops Shooting Dogs, accessible wherever you get your podcasts . Disneyland: It’s the most wonderful place on world, as long as you have a hundred horses and actually want to stay in Anaheim for more than six hours. But…

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The 8 Most Important Features On The iPhone X You Need To Know About

September 14, 2017

On Tuesday, Apple had their annual affair where they speak a good deal about how they’re the most amazing firm ever, and then they unveil a new iPhone that induces the tech life collectively jizz their pants. This time didn’t dishearten. After they invested like 30 hours talking about how their accumulates are actually announced “town squares” now( barf ), they got to the goods: the iPhone X. And it’s…

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