Its Your First Day On Wall Street

September 24, 2017

This feature requires JavaScript to function. Buy money. Do stocks. Learn about how stocks happen. Nice call. Should we hit the trading floor, then, or would you like to diversify your portfolio first? Or perhaps you’d like to learn a little about how stocks work? Diversify portfolio. Bet big! Shout! Go home. Yes! You’re doing it! You’re winning all of the money! Go do cocaine. Go home. Hahaha! This is…


Can You Help Me Seduce The Lard-Assed Director Of Technology?

September 16, 2017

Well, I’m in trouble. I’ve fallen in love bad, and I need your help seducing the loveliest administrator we have ever known. Yes, I only have eyes for the lard-assed director of technology, the massive one who patrols the stupid halls and keeps us all on task! Please, will you advise me? Our state-of-the-art quizzes require JavaScript. 1. You know who I’m talking about, right? I’m talking about the person…


Get The Whole Online Experience By Trying Our Internet Simulator

September 13, 2017

This feature requires JavaScript to operate . Begin Simulation. Wow. You are a very rare person who is known as “an outdoorsy type.” You have no interest in the Internet, and you never have to delete your history because you never had one. When someone asks if you would like to look at a website with them, “theyre saying”, “No, I prefer to read a diary or look at a…


Whoa: Lush Has Created A Long-Range Shea Butter Missile Capable Of Moisturizing Targets Up To 6,000 Miles Away

September 6, 2017

Lush is absolutely dominating the beauty landscape, and apparently, nothing is going to stop it. To prove that it sets the rules and everyone just follows, the company just unveiled its newest, most powerful skin care product to date: Lush has created a long-range shea butter missile capable of moisturizing targets up to 6,000 miles away. Whoa, that’s some serious firepower. According to anonymous sources within the company, the shea…


7 Times The Person Who Writes The Netflix Episode Descriptions Ended The Episode Description With A Little Update About Their Life

August 10, 2017

Whoevers writing these episode descriptions has no hesitations using Netflix as her personal journal. 1. That era the person or persons sister had a baby 2. That age the person get scratched by her roommates cat 3. That occasion the person or persons was revealed by her sister 4. That duration the person or persons recognized she hadnt been exposed by her sister 5. That day the person got her…


The Dangers Of Automation: The Nations Eye-Candy Pool Boys Are Struggling To Compete With More Efficient, Sexier Pool-Cleaning Robots

August 8, 2017

Technological progress often comes at a price, especially when it comes to automation. More and more people are being put out of work with each new advancement in the field, and it seems like automation may now be pushing yet another time-honored industry to the brink of extinction, as an increasing number of Americas eye-candy pool boys are losing their jobs to sexier, more efficient pool-cleaning robots. Wow. This truly…


How Far Weve Come: This Incredible Photograph From 1959 Shows What It Was Like When Magic 8 Balls Were So Big They Took Up An Entire Room

August 4, 2017

Ready for a blast from the past to completely blow your mind? While most people today take it for granted that a Magic 8 Ball fits easily in the palm of their hand, theres an older generation that remembers when that wasnt the case. Cant imagine it? Well, luckily theres photographic evidence. This incredible picture from 1959 shows what it was like when Magic 8 Balls were so big that…